There are 3 main types of relationships in your life: positive, neutral, and negative. For obvious reasons negative relationships are the most difficult to deal with. Which begs the question…
How do you deal with negativity?
I have had so much negative feedback come at me. From self-talk, to some guys at recess, and mean kids making fun of me for getting a question wrong in class. But no matter what, it hurts. I’d always thought that if people were being jerks I could just ignore them and it wouldn’t hurt. Little did I know that these words had been cutting me deep since kindergarten.
Negativity is like a disease. If it comes from one place it’s easier to brush aside, to fight it. But the more that comes at you, the more gets under your skin and spreads. These infestations expand within you, leaving all your critics with their own personal comment section in your mind.
Your negative self talk grows until it consumes you, and before you know it, you’re spreading it onto some other innocent person.
However, there is a cure for this disease. Like most sicknesses, it can be prevented by staying away from the source, the same way your parents would make you stay away from Chuck-E-Cheeses during flu season.
That’s what I do. I cut off ties with people and places that are Chuck-E-Cheeses of negativity. It was hard at first, sacrificing things I loved that I knew weren’t good for me, like playing basketball at recess, and even “friends” who ended up being both one sided, and toxic.
I felt as though there was a hole I had chopped out. After a while I came to the realization that the hole I was missing had been a growing black hole, and the more time I left it to heal the smaller it shrunk. That’s the main thing I want people to remember from this. When the healing process starts, it feels like you’re missing something. But with time, your black hole will shrink, and you’ll become whole once again.
I can’t stand negativity. Which seems like a pretty negative thing to say. But it’s true. I have no room for it. Heck, I don’t have room for neutrality. If you tell me your day is fine or okay, it’s a total buzzkill. #BroDontKillMyVibe
You become like the people you spend your time with. So you have to get away from negative people. Or overpower them with positivity. I use this approach regularly. When people start complaining to me, or talking about how much they dislike something, or someone, I use my top secret anti-negativity technique: I change the topic.
I start talking about something fun. Or I ask questions about a topic I know will change the trajectory of the conversation. Essentially, I hijack the convo and take it somewhere enjoyable for everyone. The net result is that the other person begins talking about positive things. And I don’t have to hear anyone complain. It’s a win-win. Like living in Windianapolis, Windiana.
I also call people out for their negativity in an effort to prevent it from spewing on me. I tell people they are being a Negatora Delora. I don’t know where I got that phrase. It’s kind of like being a Debbie Downer, only more exotic. Or I ask people if their blood type is B-Negative (because it bloody seems like it! (said in my best British accent).
When you call someone out for being negative it often neutralizes them. Most people don’t want to be that way. Or at least they don’t like to be perceived that way. Because, you know, it’s negative.
I like to help people turn that frown around. I am an optimist. And I like to help others find an optimistic view. And when someone gets their negative chocolate in my positive peanut butter, the peanut butter usually wins.
Think of your life like a garden. Negativity is a weed. You have to eliminate the negativity if you want all the good stuff to grow. That means prevention. Create an environment that doesn’t accept negativity. Use your mental mulch to keep negativity from taking root. And keep a hoe handy to chop out any rogue negativity while it is still in the veal stage.
Remember, you can shut the negativity down by not engaging, by not listening, and by walking away. You can cut negative people out of your life. We often think about decorating our homes, our bedrooms and our offices. But you also decorate your life with the people you allow into your world. Don’t let the cloud and fog people in. Fill your world with sunshine and rainbow people. It makes every day brighter.
How do you deal with negativity? We want to hear from you Share your best tips and tricks for squashing negativity and promoting positivity in the comments section.
And have a great day!